Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
