I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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