absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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