WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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