Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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