I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
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Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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