a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
How's work?
Spinning.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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