smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I think your dad took our porno
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
