Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
