But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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