I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
