i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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