do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
