Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
