Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
