left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
