nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
