Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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