Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
and she was petting her beer can
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
