We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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