I molested 6 butterflies tonight
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm like, not good at living.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
