no. you can't hotbox the world.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
