So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Randomize
