maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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