I showed him my bush... on skype.
I could make wine with my vomit
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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