I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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