Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
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