Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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