I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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