This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
