We got so high we made milksteak
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize