the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
