Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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