speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
