if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
porn star boner night. come get it.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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