He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I just found a bag of teeth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize