in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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