So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
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