I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
