Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize