I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize