I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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