You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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