In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
