i barfeds in our rink
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
