Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She's the barista slut.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
