Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"