it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
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Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
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GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body