You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall