The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
