But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize