I feel like I'm in dance class right now
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize