ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
