Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
