Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
