He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize